Eleanor Avery
Friday night I went and walked the beach with Mark, Emaline and Marks mom, Kathy. The whole time I whined about how low the baby felt and how I felt like I could push her out at any moment. That night I woke up around 3:30am and was contracting about every 15 minutes, I tried to go back to sleep but after about an hour realized that it wasn't worth it so I got up and thought about going downstairs to sit on the yoga ball and do homework. I did that for about 20 minutes then decided to take a bath, mainly I was just bored and resisting the urge to wake Mark up. Around 5am I woke Mark up and we went through some baby clothes, trying to find a perfect "first outfit" for a boy or girl. After that we decided to go downstairs and clean up and start setting up for the birth.
I wanted to let my mom sleep as long as possible but at 5:30 we called her and asked her to head over. We already had the birth tub filled with air, but we moved some of Emaline's larger toys to the edges of the room and moved the coffee table and rug out of the living room and replaced them with a twin mattress.
My dad came over shortly to help fill up the tub (ie. duct taping the hose to the kitchen faucet) and left to get coffee and bagels and made a trip to CVS because I hadn't collected everything on the birth supply list. (Have you noticed we are not the "be prepared" type?) I hadn't planned on having him at the birth because he was really annoying during my last labor. He is a "tinkerer" he never sits still, he is always fixing or messing with something and it sounds dumb but he is a "heavy" walker. I swear you can hear him walking around even when he is outside on the concrete. Anyways, my mom told him I wanted him to go home and I guess he got really pouty and promised not to make any noise and to just sit quietly wherever I wanted him, even if it was upstairs or in another room. I agreed and he sat nicely in the living room and never annoyed me again ( :
The general "rule" for when midwives like to be called is 5-1-1, 5 minutes between contractions that last 1 minute for 1 hour. My contractions were only lasting about 45 seconds but were 3 minutes apart so we called her at 6:15 just to give her a heads up that things were happening and to double check that I was "allowed" to get in the tub. (This sounds dumb now but for some reason the birth center I birthed with before was weird about this) She said that I should do whatever I want, so we started to fill up the tub. I felt like it took FOREVER to fill and once I got in (around 7am) I really wasn't impressed.
With both of my labors I felt the urge to stand and lean on something during each contraction, so while I enjoyed being in the tub between contractions I ended up standing up during every one so there was no relief coming from the water. I got out because I felt like my contractions were less intense, maybe I am a masochist and just enjoy being in more pain but my instinct was telling me that it wasn't good, even though they weren't actually getting shorter or slowing down.
At some point Jill (midwife) called back to see how things were going and asked if she could come now. I felt really good and was nervous about the dynamic changing as more people arrived but I agreed. Jessica (also a student midwife/Jills assistant) arrived first and was awesome. She brought a very nice energy and settled in quickly without being annoying.
For a while I labored on the couch, laying down with my eyes closed between contractions and getting up and leaning on the arm of the couch during each contraction. I had taken a "Birth Spiral" workshop a couple months prior through our local ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) chapter to deal with any previous birth trauma and at the end of the day Melissa (who lead the workshop) lead us in a meditation (guided visualization?) that I don't remember exactly but it involved floating in water and each ripple outwards including your mother, then grandmother, and basically all the women who have birthed before you. Anyways I used this as something to focus on during all of my contractions. I imagined floating in the water with all my birthy friends. You were all there at some point, just hanging out bobbing around in the ripples. Some contractions we were mermaids, others we swam out to further ripples, some I just struggled to stay afloat with my friends.
In between contractions sometimes I wanted to chat and other times I just wanted everything to continue to be quiet. Everyone was really amazing about respecting whatever I wanted and following my cues. I suppose it was fairly easy for everyone because I needed or wanted very little other then silence. So we listened to Aloha and everything was smooth sailing.
Jill arrived and gave me the option of being checked. I really didn't want to have any checks in labor, but she said that if I wasn't very far then her and Jessica would leave, which was appealing so I let her. I was 5 cm, completely effaced, with a bulging bag of waters and the baby was at a +2 station. I really hate cervical check in labor because I feel that pretty much any information other then "You're 10 cm!" is going to be disappointing. So even though I hadn't been in labor that long it still bummed me out to know I was at 5 but I quickly got over it and it wasn't a big deal at all.
Eventually I decided to get back in the tub and continued to stand during all the contractions. After a contraction I looked up and Marks mom was there. I didn't know she was coming so that was a surprise. Around 9:30 my water broke (in the tub) during a contraction and after that my legs hurt during contractions so I didn't want to stand up any more. I spent the next few contractions kind of flailing around in the tub trying to figure out what was most comfortable now. I started to feel like I wanted to push but had the semi-irrational thought that I needed to try to poop before the baby was born so I got out of the tub and went to the bathroom and tried to do that between contractions. Surprise surprise I didn't need to poop I needed to push out my baby! I called for Mark and he and Emaline came (oh yeah Emaline woke up about 30 minutes prior and had just been hanging out eating breakfast) and I started pushing. The head was out in about 4 pushes while standing in our microscopic bathroom. Jill somehow (I wish I had this on video because I cannot figure out how it happened) maneuvered me from the tiny bathroom onto the floor outside it, I was laying on my side and I am not sure if I was just overwhelmed or it had to do with the position I was in but I couldn't feel the contractions anymore and though Jill was telling me to push with them I suddenly had no idea what I was supposed to do. After a handful of contractions she told me "hold your breath and push" and it worked. Our baby was born at 9:52 am Saturday May 21st. She was 7 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long.
where she was born
The first thing I noticed was that the babies fingernails were bruised black, something our midwife had never seen but she suspected it was from sucking her thumbs. (I've never since seen her suck her thumbs so I doubt that was why, someone suggested maybe she had her fists clenched during birth but who knows.) Then I noticed it was a GIRL! Even though we hadn't found out the gender I could not believe it! Pretty much everyone thought it was going to be a boy. After the cord stopped pulsating Mark cut it. I thought that I would want to do it but in the moment I couldn't have cared less. I felt a huge relief after the cord was cut as it was putting a lot of pressure on me, we later realized after the placenta was birthed that it was a very short cord. Once the cord was cut Mark asked everyone to leave the living room and we moved in there becuase that is where the mattress was.
Jill remarked that there was no blood at all from the birth and that I hadn't torn at all. It took a little while for the placenta to be birthed and it wasn't helped along by baby because she took her sweet time learning to latch. Eventually it came out and that was that.
Mom, Dad, and baby about an hour after birth
Jill and Jessica with baby Eleanor
Everything was awesome. Eventually people came back inside including my friend Tara who got there right when I started pushing and I hadn't seen yet. I ate a delicious monte cristo (aka: the best sandwich ever) left over from the night before while Jill and Jessica did the newborn exam and cleaned everything up. Marks mom went to get us some food them took Emaline for a special fun Nana & granddaughter day. My mom and Tara hung around for what seemed like a long (but loved) time and eventually everyone was gone. I couldn't believe that by 3pm we were all alone watching a crappy movie in bed. As a huge home birth supporter and someone who had previously had a natural birth in the hospital I couldn't believe how amazingly different the two are. Natural birth in the hospital is absolutely NOT comparable or an equal alternative to having a home birth.
I am writing this at 6 days post partum and feel so awesome its almost obnoxious. I love birth.
::EDIT:: I just remember my favorite part, after I had her and was laying on the floor waiting for her to "get going" I could feel tears dripping onto my face from Mark, who was above my head (kneeling, sitting, standing? I have no idea) <333 love him.
